Here Come The Waterworks

My right eye waters. A lot. For no reason. And it's just my right eye. It's kind of a problem because people often think I'm crying when I'm just...existing. So, to avoid further confusion, I thought I might post about it.

A few years ago, I did a summer musical program through my school's choir director. I hadn't done chorus or any kind of singing at school, so the kids there had no idea I sang. One of the first things I sang in front of them was a kind of sad song about unrequited love ("There's a Fine, Fine Line" from Avenue Q). I finished the song and I remember a few students coming up to me and saying, "Wow, I really believed that you were sad; I can't believe you can make yourself cry!" As it turns out, I had a single tear falling from my eye. My right eye. I quickly told them that, no, I'm not a fantastic actor who can cry on cue; I have an overactive tear duct.

When school started up again, my friend Laura and I were talking about my eye during bio class. I said something about my contact, and she said, "don't you mean contacts?" and when I revealed that I only wore one contact (for my left, non-watering eye), that seemed to be even more hilarious to her than me saying, "Crying?? Oh, no. I have an overactive tear duct."

(By the way, I now wear two contacts. My left eye still requires a stronger prescription, but now I have two like everyone else...I'm normal).

It still happens, all the time, that my eye gets me into trouble. In my first few weeks at work this past summer, I made some sort of mistake at casting. A coordinator corrected me, and I apologized and it really wasn't a big deal. But apparently my right eye went rogue and made him believe that his correction had made me cry. Then it was my turn to correct him.

Someone once told me that I should use my watery eye to my advantage. Maybe get some free stuff or even just get the chance to mess with people. So watch out! The next time you ask me if I'm crying, I launch into an uncomfortably long story about how my parakeet (I don't have a parakeet) died due to a seed overdose. Or maybe I'll tell you that my eye waters because my parents beat me with bricks as a child and broke my eye.

But don't believe me. I'm messing with you.